How to Make Your House the Teen Hangout Spot

I drove my son’s best friend (and the friend’s little brother) to school so much last school year that they totally let their guard down around me. The meandering conversations they had, the insults they flung at each other, the “yo mama” jokes they told (and knew I’d laugh at), I was there for all of it. My door was also the one they’d knock on when one realized halfway on the walk to school that they had their saxophone but not their music and needed a quick ride to get it.

If you’re there for them and welcoming of them when they’re young, they’ll feel comfortable with you and in your home as they get older, and more likely to keep coming back.

Create a hangout space

A few years ago, before we even hoped to move, I was looking for ways to expand the living space we did have—and create a specific hangout spot for my son and his friends in the process. I took what seemed like an unlikely choice—the unfinished basement of my circa 1925 home—and transformed it into a what we dubbed the Kid Cave. Once I had this space for them, having kids over regularly felt more manageable because they had a place to play video games loudly that was not right in the middle of our small living room—and they had more privacy away from us.

This summer, with our renewed commitment to this house, we decided to go one step further than the Kid Cave and extend our backyard patio. Gone is much of the grass, but in its place is a spot where I envision middle schoolers and eventually high-schoolers hanging out around a fire pit or playing quoits. If you don’t have the flexibility to create a new space for them, you can add additional seating to their bedroom so they can better congregate in there. Beanbag chairs or large fluffy pillows can give them more ways to lounge around without everyone piling on the bed.

Whatever space you focus on, the key is to provide them a reasonable amount of privacy and something to do. If your house has the fun space with the table tennis, foosball, air hockey, or arcade machine, they will naturally be drawn in on a boring Sunday afternoon. Keep a stack of board games on hand that kids never grow out of, too, like Monopoly, Clue, Uno, and Twister. Someone will pull them out on a rainy day.

Stay fully stocked

Another key to being the hangout house of choice is to make sure you’ve got all the necessary supplies at any given time—by which I mean, snacks and beverages. My son’s friends know where the chips and kid-friendly drinks are stashed, and they know my supply never runs out. I keep refreshments easily accessible so they know they’re welcome to them. If ever they’re feeling famished after school, I want them to know they can swing by for a snack.

You can even keep an easy muffin or cookie mix on hand to toss in the oven when they start to settle in—the smell alone will make them want to come back. Or you can pull out pizza-making supplies and a variety of toppings and set them loose in the kitchen to whip up their own creations. You don’t have to try too hard or go all out, just make sure you’ve always got a few accessible options around.

And then, get out of their way

You want to be a welcoming presence, but you don’t want to hover. Provide the space, provide the entertainment, provide the food, and then go do your own thing.